I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
