i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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