so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Farmville is her only friend.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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