But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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