Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
