I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
