I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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