I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
