Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
