Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
