You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
