i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
