I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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