Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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