Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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