It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
