I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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