I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
