it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
