When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize