There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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