Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
