Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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