Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
