i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
