I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm like, not good at living.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
