Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
