i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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