Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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