I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
