Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
