sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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