I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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