New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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