I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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