Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
