It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Your cock deserves a montage
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
