Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
