Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
