just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize