i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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