My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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