i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
