I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
