Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
