oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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