remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
