It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
