haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize