Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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