Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
