I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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