Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
