so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
