I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
