I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
