It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
bring money and cleavage
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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