I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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