I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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